I'm Not Good at Meditating

People talk about meditating.  You're trying to relax.  You're trying to connect with your guides.  You're trying to enhance your own gifts.  But when you sit still you can't shut your brain off, so you must just be bad at meditating and you should stop.

See how ridiculous that sounds?  This is what people tell me ALL THE TIME.

First, here's what you should know about me.  Like who is giving you this advice?  It's probably this girl who is all wise, who never loses her temper, who meditates 15 minutes each morning and each night, clearing her head, hearing nothing, thinking nothing, just straight up calling the universe on its direct line and dictating the weather or something, right?  Of course I'm doing it in this holy space with red fabric with gold trim, wearing things on my head, humming lightly.  Naturally this space is light proof and sound proof and no one is allowed to enter lest they contaminate it with their energy.

Lies.

I rarely meditate.  When I do it's usually broad day, in the bathtub, sun pouring in the windows.  I do turn off the TV but I can still hear street traffic passing my housing development.  I can still hear bird, planes, the cats.  Thoughts come in my head for sure.  And sometimes I even just let them play out.  I don't "thank them and release them."  Sometimes I feel my grandma who died in 1991 who I didn't really know very well.  Sometimes I see my own guides.  Sometimes I talk out loud to them.  Mostly I see moving shapes and colors against a black backdrop.  

When I'm not in the tub, I also like to do it face down on my bed at night with the nightstand lamp on.  I place the two bed pillows in a V with the point away from me and rest my head on the pillows with my face in the V so I can breathe (the pillow height creates open space).  I may use YouTube meditation music or may not.  

But even if doing stuff like this is frustrating to you, you can meditate.  I sear.  Just stop trying to block out the noise.  Seek it out instead!  You're trying to hear spirit, right?  So listen.  Hear the obvious stuff.  I heard a car drive by my house just now.  My cat is drinking water behind me.  The fan is making a whoosh noise.  The clock on the wall is ticking.  The cars on the main road are starting to swell as people drive through for rush hour.  Birds are chatting.  Dive deeper.  What kinds of cars?  I think I just heard a big commercial truck.  Then a little sportster.  A dove just cooed.  Now a grackle cackled.  A/C kicked on which is hard to hear from my office.  

Then my body wanted to hear more. I stopped typing and leaned back.  I didn't want the distraction of seeing things, thinking of what to type, or feeling any discomfort from the position I was sitting in.  I started seeing the colors.  I received a message to make sure I get my eyes checked.  I've been meaning to for a while, but I keep putting it off.  Ugh, of all the boring messages...I digress.

But sometimes, for me, listening and thinking actually is what clears my head and gets me to the point of being able to relax and connect.  Try it.